In a local convenience store I came upon this unidentifiable species. I assumed it was human, but maybe not. I'm thinking it may be one of those "mincing hogs" I recently read about that is being bred for sausage. I was mesmerized by my fortunate opportunity to try one of these new lab wonders. Of course I'm going to have to kill it, but I've killed many a wasp, flies and spiders over the years so, I'm not new to the art of the kill. Then...the cashier said "come again Stew." Stew snorted an unintelligible response. Well, after all, he isn't one of us, it's not like he knows the language or anything. I then had an epiphany! Stew! As in home made! He's a stewing hoglet! How lucky can I get? I proceeded to purchase onions, potatoes and a can of tomato paste, a small bag of flour and a bottle of 1977 California Pinot Noir (that was very bad year for wine but beggars can't be choosers) and out the door I went. I caught Stew, dispatched him on the spot, loaded him into the cargo hold of the van and sped off home. I diced stew into bite sized cubes, removed the eyes from the potatoes (can't stand the way they stare), chopped my onions, added the tomato paste, and flour. took a couple of gulps of the wine then slowly added it for a simmer. We enjoyed stew that night and a couple more. My old house mate was very pleased and had not one complaint. By the way, since I've been back on Thorazine, I haven't seen any roving farm animals or lab species since. I guess finding Stew was a once in a lifetime opportunity.