Oh, look at that, the FBI has *unexpectedly* decided to shift its counterterrorism squads into high gear because Iran is still an issue. Who could have seen *that* coming? Clearly, the military actions in the region are just a light background hum for the team’s newest, most urgent mission—keeping us safe from the latest existential threat. Because nothing screams “high alert” quite like issuing a blanket warning based solely on ongoing geopolitical tensions. So, everyone stay calm, lock your doors, and keep pretending everything’s under control. Maybe next week we’ll get a new bedtime story to spice things up.