There comes a time in every persons life when you are required to man the hell up.  A time where you need to stare the devil in the eyes and casually ask "is that all you got?"  As he drags you through the seven gates of hell.  A time to say "fuck the heliocentric model of the solar system, the universe in fact revolves around my Andromeda sized titanium nutsies."  For me, that moment was today as I discovered there was a spider in my helmet at 90mph.

I think I might be an overachiever…

 

THE EPITAPH

                      Stop my friend as you pass by,
                      As you are now, so once was I.
                      As I am now you soon shall be,
                      So prepare yourself to follow me.

           Did you ever think as a hearse goes by
           That you may be the next to die?

          They wrap you in a big white sheet
           From your head down to your feet.
           And the worms crawl in and worms crawl out,
           In your stomach and out your snout,
           And your eyes fall out and your teeth decay-
           And that is the end of a perfect day.

Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening.  Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.