Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.  Busted his ass he did.  However, all was not lost...

He was reincarnated into a hard boiled egg and all cheered with enthusiasm as all was right in the world once more.

 Pickled Punks — A carny term, never used in front of the general public, describing deformed fetuses preserved in formaldehyde. These were prime attractions, often presented as the deformed offspring of crazed degenerate drug addicts. Real Punks were sometimes seized by authorities, since possessing human remains is illegal in most jurisdictions. Fake punks, called "bouncers," are now more often exhibited, floating in jars of weak tea (the color hides the artificial look). Bouncers are also popular with showmen because they can be crafted with especially grotesque features.

Colloquially known as “pickled punks”, traveling circuses used to use miscarried or aborted fetuses to attract the curious and morbid. While “pickled punks” are illegal now, recreating one is relatively easy and a quick Google search will show many sites dedicated to recreating these freaky little jar babies.

Bouncer — A rubber reproduction of a pickled punk (q.v.). There were any number of reasons for using reproductions instead of genuine specimens including local legal restrictions and easier availability.

                          How to Kill a Vampire:


Here's the problem, my guess is you don't know jack about vampires. No one does. Oh, yeah, there are legends about vampires and thousands of stories, but that's just the trouble. Not all of them can be right. And being wrong when you're facing down a thousand-year old excuse for a human tick can be the kiss of death.

Protective Measures:

Vampires are fast, mean, and nasty, and they have the advantage of supernatural powers and potentially centuries of experience on their side. You have a handful of dusty legends and the fact you probably won't really believe you've encountered a vampire until the moment before you're dead.

 Since you don't know for sure what you're  up against, stock up on all the standards and double or triple up on them. Start with garlic, holy water, crosses, and a cord of wooden stakes.


Add any traditional weapons to your armory too: guns, knives, grenades, etc. Vampires are famous for making the living do their bidding, and that super soaker filled with holy water is only going to make such minions mad and very wet. Elimination Strategies: When you finally face down a bloodsucker, start with the simplest methods and then pile on the pain until you find something that works. Once you figure that out, hammer at it over and over until every vampire in your zip code is a pile of ash.


Good luck.

These capsules will change your life and earn the respect of friends and relatives alike.  A bit of 'stinky' might be a problem but the sheer glorified beauty of a golden pile cannot be denied.

Sometimes a flood is a very good thing unless a vampire is hanging around.