One reaches a point  when the temptation to spit on one's hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Psychopathic men of all men, are the ones you never turn your back on.

There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by a blowtorch.

               Does Christmas annoy you Frosty?

Peter Putrid is not quite a human being—but then, who is?

Technological progress is like an ax in the hands of a pathological criminal.

Electronic Christmas trees is a queer thing.  It brings great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the face with the other.

Poor fellow hardly knew a moose from a deer let alone a turkey from a goose.

Of all the Christbitten places in the two hemispheres, this is the last curly kink in the pig's tail.

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Progress celebrates Pyrric victories over nature and makes purses out of human skin instead of reptiles.

                   So....It's that time of year again.

                 Forgot to wax my chest again.

How to wipe that look off the face of an annoying pest.

  Women's heavy weight champion pugilist.  Estrogen overload.

                                  BULLS EYE!!!

             "I have an enormous favor to ask you"