Two minutes of gooey near-satisfaction followed by weeks of haunting guilt is so much more easily attained with a cucumber of choice of which nothing more than a few eye rolling panting and moans is the only side effect.  However, Sara is defending abuse of all vegetables and one or two fruits by ordering more sustainable products from condomstogousa.com  I wonder if they offer ukulele lessons too?  I've heard a little strumming is thrilling.