THE THERAPY KIT

               Miz Nuggit doin' the Funky Chicken

My good pal Vikki has recently become a fitness devotée and is taking "Funky Chicken" dancercise classes from the "Grand Mistress dance champeen, Miz Chicki Nuggit".  Vik says what makes this exercise so unique is you drink a bottle of beer while 'funking' out and not spill a drop.  Now she has my attention, I know I can do the bottle of beer part on the road to fitness.  I'm in!

Too frequently in today's world, an aspiring vampyre's time is sucked up by the need to 'go for the throat' instead of spending time on succinct status reporting and PowerPoint presentations allowing a stealthy vampyre to hide in plain sight. Unfortunately, vampyre's bore easily and multitasking is out of the question. They have one sole all-consuming purpose at the forefront of their attention at all times. (Sucking every last drop of blood from your throat.) The vampyre can cut out unnecessary drivel to get to the heart of matter, so-to-speak.

Help for Sensitive Rectal Disorders:  help available through social training and understanding and caring for your rectum.

                         The Dingleberry Ball

Dingleberries are a source of embarrassment and no one lays claim to them or ever professes to having suffered from a few falling off the old “pubes” when wiping “the great divide”.   It’s unsettling to say the least, when one sticks or hangs up and has to be gently nudged free only to plop below with a little splash.  Butt (live with it) worse is when an accumulation of them survive the swirl of rapidly flushing water and manage to climb out and throw a little soireé in a corner of the bathroom then inevitably be discovered by a visiting guest.  No sense denying your guilt. Own it, then scoop them up and stand there while they swirl out of sight into the great void below. 
Moral to the story: buy a better grade of toilet tissue and wash your ass more frequently.

Stripper in Clearwater, FLA showing the judge that her bikini briefs were too large to expose her vagina to the undercover cops that arrested her. The case was dismissed. 

Guess you could say, "the proof was all in the puddin'."

This is just too obvious to make a wisecrack.  Pass.