How I feel most of the fucking time.

Caress it.  Tell it you love it.  When it feels safe, pop the little sucker.

           Enter.  Just remember, the exit is anal.

When I feel like becoming a vengeful Medusa I swirl snakes through my locks and cover my tits with chest hair and then go looking for something to kill and eat.

      Say those three words, "I did it"!   "You lose."

     "A clean Ass Hole means so much!  It is the earmark of a civilized person!  It's really quite surprising how many people there are in this world who just don't take the time to keep their ass holes free of excess fecal matter!  All it takes is a few seconds to wipe yourself...a minute at the most, if you've taken a messy bowel movement! 
      But some people...well, it just must not bother them to walk around with a shitty, sticky, smacky behind!  Who can explain such people?  Perhaps they are deliberately being anti-social, for the effect of such behavior can only be to make a person friendless and a social outcast.  You might not mind the smell of your own shit (in fact, many people seem to like it!), but let's face it, nobody but a pervert likes to smell other people's excrement!  So, take Tommy's advice...keep it wiped!"