Curses, Curses
May your soul be forever tormented by fire and your bones feasted upon by a concordant of tape worms till all the marrow is dung and your bones dry and brittle.

The uncertain and frenetic nature of modern life has led to the increasing popularity of mild bondage.  When you're tied to the cart, at least you know where you're going to be for the next couple of hours.

                            WWII 1942...

It will be a moving experience, gushing with pleasure with the feeling of immediate relief.  It's like a spiritual enema leaving one empty of all sins and feeling "born again" while suffering an introspective pornographic moment.  Sort of a "Devil made me do it excuse".

Given the opportunity, we can show Ted Nugent's colon who's boss.

 

LaVendar Hankey meets a man, sucks the life out of him then throws away the pulp.

T. Fud Pucker Tucker's twisted habit of tormenting retired ladies came to a sad end one morning  when he chanced to anger a psychotic ex-employee of Rectol labs, who subsequently introduced his rectum to the intimate acquaintance of a medium-sized stainless steel rotating cleaver.  R.I.P.

Sexual harassment on the job is not a problem for a virtuous woman.

                           BOB THE CHICKEN

Ecstacy Fuchs was new at this prison thing, within 3 days of his arrival he was buggered and hospitalized.  He felt frightened and confused. But the moment he laid eyes on #472825994,  his muscular hospital attendant he became a prisoner of love."

         Memoirs of an unreconstructed wanker.

                           Sam liked to hump.

His flatulence reared up like a proud stallion and burst forth like a shining beacon into the night.

Reinforcements from the 2nd Panzer Korps arrived, their speedo-clad voluptuous torsos glistening with man-dew.

I've come by much of my knowledge from a long term, long winded affair known as marriage. My husband's efforts to impart his wisdom of penile superiority (for my own good) is still one of great perplexity since I can assure you, I will not ever be in a position to make much use of any of it unless I am given a penile implant of which I do not see in my near future. However, I'm not one to discard knowledge when freely given no matter how useless it appears.

                 THE CURSE OF FLATULENCE

Why does gas sometimes make a noise when it is being passed and sometimes the process is quiet but poisonous?

Cultural constrains have a major influence on noise.  In most societies audible flatus is not socially acceptable.  In general there is more noise from a larger volume of gas.  The "pitch" depends on the diameter of the anal canal.  A narrow opening produces a higher pitched squeal than a relaxed anal canal.  Sitting, especially on a toilet, tends to produce a louder explosion than when standing.  Hemorrhoids do not alter the pitch or intensity of the sound.  Most people are aware, by the time they are of school age if they are a baritone or a soprano.

Next thing you know, they'll be opening hot dog stands on the moon.